Cutting BackA Piece of the Pie

by Sharon D. Vermont

“My doctor is ordering a sleep study to find out why I’m tired all the time,” I told my mother recently.

“Do you think that, just maybe, you’re tired because you do way too much?” my mom suggested knowingly.

“Huh?” I was skeptical.

“Well, you work, you write, you take care of your family, and you put a million miles a day on your car. I’m certainly no doctor. But, couldn’t all your running around be the cause of your fatigue?”

Hmmmm…

As much as I hated to admit it, my mother had a very good point. Like many women of my generation, I often find myself more than just a little bit overcommitted. We 30- and 40-somethings often were raised to believe that we actually can do it all — and do it all well. As if it wasn’t enough that I’m a part-time pediatrician, free lance writer, and full-time wife and mother, I’m also the room-mother for both of my daughters’ classes at school. In addition, I help out with Brownie meetings, volunteer in my girls’ classrooms on a regular basis and drive several carpools. I suppose I do tend to overdo things on occasion. Maybe I don’t need a sleep study after all.

So, what can women today do to reduce the self-induced stress we all feel?

Quit everything. It’s that simple.

Obviously, I can’t quit working or being a mom. Yet, I can take a look at my schedule and cut everything that isn’t educationally, financially or medically necessary. And that’s what I’ve been slowly trying to do over the past couple of years. Now, however, I’m getting even tougher on my calendar and cutting way back. No more evening activities for my kids that cut into family dinner time; No more competitive activities that involve driving my children all over the metro area on weekend mornings; and no more days with back-to-back commitments.

I am, after all, worn out.

And, truth be told, so are my daughters. Somehow, it just doesn’t seem fair to force them out of their comfy chair at 7 p.m. just so they can do gymnastics for an hour. And I’m tired of telling my girls they can’t play with a friend because of choir practice. I know there always will be families who encourage their children to spend 12 or more hours per week in the pool or at the gym or on the field. Yet, I simply refuse to be one of those families.

I’m rallying for more family meals, more time to play board games before bed and more weekends having fun with my husband and daughters. So forget all the activities that I’ve been brainwashed into thinking are good for my girls. Let’s hear it, instead, for good old quality time together, in our house, with one another.

Maybe then, I won’t feel so exhausted all the time.

Something to consider, don’t you think?